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I’m having to temper myself concerning deer hunting. I want to go but I know that (a) I’ve got lots of work to do. And (b) I need to be fresh when November rolls around. As any deer hunter knows, November is like Christmas to us. It is the time when the rut happens in most parts of the country; especially the parts where deer grow the largest. I’ve found myself, at times, coming into this time of year weary from the previous several weeks of hard hunting. And the last thing I want to do is be too tired to hunt during these most productive weeks. I’ve learned over the years that if I am going to be able to hunt hard during the days when success is most likely, then I must learn to say no when my odds are substantially less. Now some people (including myself) will try to justify these early hunts by claiming that it’s only about harvesting a doe for the freezer, but actually December and January are probably better for that as well. The truth is most of us are unable to tell ourselves and others no. This doesn’t work in deer hunting and it doesn’t work in life. Let me explain.
I’m one of those guys who could never say no to anything that I thought was honorable or worthwhile. In my Christian life, that meant that I was supposed to be involved in everything that the church had going. It didn’t matter if I was gifted in that area or not, if there was a need, I thought (and in some ways was told) that I had to step up. Most of the time, I did. As I got older, got married, and had children, I learned that I couldn’t do everything and still give myself to my family. At first there was guilt until I realized it was false guilt. It was not put there by God. God never expected me to jump into everything no matter how desperate the need was at the expense of my godly responsibility to my family and to my own spiritual needs. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that God will never call you to do something that seems wrong for you. But what I am saying is learn what you have been gifted to do, who your ministry is to, and apply yourself to do it with excellence. And when others ask you to do something that is outside of that, learn to kindly say no. If you don’t there will come a time when you’ll look back and find out that you actually did say no – to those people, family, and things that God had already put in your life.
Gary Miller
